Choosing New Habits
This month I celebrated a milestone birthday in a beautiful way surrounded by loved ones; family and friends, who had all in some way played a special part in my life through their love, support, friendship, guidance and encouragement.
It was a good time to reflect on the importance of community, belonging and identity, and it turned out to be an occasion where I became aware of a common opinion held by those that knew and loved me.
Everyone spoke to me or about me in terms of my ability to unite and positively impact others, and my ability to overcome adversities and turn these into positive drivers for change - in myself and for others. It was humbling and thought-provoking.
This special time in my life reminded me of so many blessings and opportunities I had been given, and the resilience that had carried me forward and allowed me to become stronger, wiser and more vulnerable as I got older.
When I look back on the last decade I can see that I have made some pivotal decisions that have allowed me to grow and deepen my relationships. I have chosen to surrender more - to unexpected opportunities, to the rawness of emotions, to unconditional love and friendship, to protecting my worth and contributions, and to the clarity that living in alignment with my values has brought.
These choices have not been simple or easy ones to make at times, and almost all of them have required intention, vigilance and a commitment to new habits.
As I reflect on the last decade and wonder with hope and optimism on what the next one will bring for me and mine, and as we all near the end of yet another year, I thought it might be timely to share with you 4 habits that I have committed to in the last decade that have enabled me to surrender in important life-giving ways:
1. Re-write your stories - identify the memories and experiences that have caused you the greatest upset, stress and anxiety and choose to re-frame them by identifying (with the benefit of hindsight) the silver linings, lessons and growth in those same experiences. Now imprint that version of each story in your mind going forward.
2. Identify your Purpose - the Japanese live by an ancient concept called Ikigai. It is described as the reason for living, a sense of purpose and the secret to a long and happy life. It is said to be the union or intersection of our four fundamental components of life - our passion, vocation, profession and mission. Choose to carve out some time for yourself to reflect on what your reason for living your life's purpose is. I guarantee the clarity that this process brings is life-altering. It can take some time and the goal is not necessarily to come up with the magic answer, but in committing to the process itself and asking yourself important questions along the way, like who you are, what has shaped you and what do you stand for.
3. Practise Gratitude - choosing to see the positives around you and highlight them every day has been the single most powerful habit that has changed my perspective on life and how I see my place in this world. Whether it is keeping a daily gratitude journal, writing a regular blog of thanks, sending weekly messages to loves ones telling them what it is you appreciate about them, there is a ritual that can work for everyone. Choosing to focus first on the positives, especially given what is happening in the world around us, is the most time tested method for building resilience and conditioning yourself to grow through all experiences.
4. Commit to Mindfulness - we have all heard and used the term 'mindfulness' in recent years. In fact it has become a buzz word in many corporate and creative circles. But what is it? It is simply the practise of paying attention in a particular way - on purpose, in the present moment and without judgement. There is much research that suggests that committing to the regular practise of mindfulness leads to improved wellbeing and psychological resilience. And there is no one magic way to do this. Whether it's being in nature, yoga, meditation, cooking, surfing, listening to music, etc etc. Like practising gratitude, there is no one optimum way of practising mindfulness, but there is something available for everyone.
So as we move into the final month of this year and start to get ready for various festivities, holy occasions and holidays, I hope this will give you food for thought and motivation to choose new habits that enable growth, wellbeing and resilience. Because don't we all need these now more than ever?!
